The Cat That Laid the Golden Hairball (transcript)
Episode: The Cat That Laid the Golden Hairball episode begins at Ren and Stimpy's House and zooms in treehouse. Ren: yawns Think I'll watch some tube. at the hairball on his foot growls I'm surrounded by filthy, dirty, stinky... HAIRBALLS!! appear all over his living room. Ohhh, when Stimpy gets home! Ohhh, what am I'm going to do to him? his feet and sits on the couch and watches on TV. Offscreen News Anchor: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this NEWS FLASH! Ren: Oh boy! Mayhem! Offscreen News Anchor: Top scientists have discovered that feline hairballs are excellent source of non-polluting fuel. flies in space. They're the perfect material for manufacturing space shuttle's heat shields! was showing on TV They're a better source of material for clothing than either cotton or wool! audience was cheering, boy was chewing on cereal. They have more fiber than oat bran! with one eye has a pinkeye. They even cure pinkeye! wipes the pinkeye off. Baby blinks with both eyes. Baby was excited and he had a thumb up. The price of hairballs has been rising steadily and by the end of the week, they are expected to be more valuable than... GOLD! smiles and takes evil grin. Fades to Hairball. Ren: the hairball They're wet, they're vile, they're stinky... out the hairball But I love them! giggles was having fun in the hairballs Stimpy: offscreen Ren? Ren: STIMPY!! Are you alright? Please, Stimpy! Do hwarf a mighty pile of golden fleece upon my grateful crown. doesn't know the difference. Stimpy was about to barf. Stimpy's stomach was growling and it barfs the hairballs at Ren. giggles At last, I can have those pectoral implants. to three pipes are smoking and screen moves to treehouse. Stimpy was on the factory. Stimpy licks his hair off his arm. Stimpy barfs a hairball at the machine. Ren was checking the hairballs. Mmm-hmm? Good texture. stamps "Grade A" at the hairball and the machine will be moving on. Ren pulls the lever and stamps "Grade A" on Stimpy's hairballs. Bubba puts hairball on his spatula and put it in the box. Bubba looks around. Bubba will put the hairball into his pocket and put the hairball in his box. Stimpy, splat it up! checks his arm, but the arm was all skinny. Stimpy was thinking. Stimpy: Hmmm.... Duh, hey Ren! stamps Stimpy and falls on the ground. Ren: Shut up and lick your other arm! licks his right hand out of his hair. Stimpy barfs the hairball on the machine. In the deleted scene, Stimpy was licking his whole tummy. Stimpy barfs a lot of hairballs on his machine. Bubba was put the hairball on the box and they get tired. Stimpy barfs tiredly and licks his body out of his hair. Stimpy barfs a hairballs at the machine. Ren stamps "Grade A" on his hairball and Ren has money on his eyes. Ren stamps "Grade A' on Stimpy's butt. Ren was shocked, Ren eyes has "No Sale". Hey mister, get back in the line and start hwarfing! Stimpy: pants But Ren, I need fuel to make hairballs, but I'll fresh out. his butt Ren: sighs I guess you could lick off my hair. Come on, come on! Get it over with! licks Ren's skin off Ughh ugghh, That makes my flesh crawl. look at the audience. Stop it, you've rendered me.. hairless! Now get to hwarfing! was about to barfing but It can't. Stimpy: I guess you weren't hairy enough, Ren. Bubba: giggles Uncle Ren got licked for nothing. excitedly and looks at the hairy finger Ren: Hmmmm... Bubba. Bubba: Yes, Uncle Ren. Ren: Extend to Stimpy your powerfully hairy arm. was licking Bubba's arm out of his hair. Stimpy hardly gulps and sighs Where are you going? Your plate's still full. to Bubba's back and it got full of hair. Stimpy: Whaaaa... was licking his hair out of Bubba's hair Bubba: giggles That feels purdy. back is so shiny. Ren: Hey buddy, you think you're ready to hwarf some hairballs? Stimpy: I think so. Ren: Well then, GET TO IT, MAN! (clicks his watch) TIME IS MONEY! was coughing out his hairball, but he can't. Bubba & Ren: Hwarf! Hwarf! Hwarf! Hwarf! Hwarf! was trying to wheezing out his hairball, but he can't because the tongue was too long. Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf! was trying to coughing hardly out his hairball. Because it's not hairy enough. Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf! Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf! was trying tightly until... They wheezing and coughing out of his mouth loudly and deflates the whole body but they have lip blubbered and raspberries. Ren: NO!! uses the plunger out of Stimpy's mouth. Stimpy's mouth was opening and falls out to his tongue. Oh, Bubba. Come lend Stimpy a hand. Bubba: Yes, Uncle Ren! over and grabs Ren Ren: Squeeze that monkey, Bubba! was squeezing Stimpy That's it, Stimpy! Let a rip! was barfing a whole skeleton on his bucket. Hmmm... Why, there's nothing in here but the useless bones and organs! Hmmm... This is serious. Well, we have to exploratory. Stimpy: An exploratory? What's that? Ren: Show him, Bubba. will go inside on Stimpy's body. Well, what do you see? Bubba: Nothing. It's dark. Ren: Use your flashlight, stupid. Bubba: the flashlight Well, that's better. walks through to Stimpy's stomach and he got a eggplant and put on Ren's hand It's a hairball gland. I think it's broke. was poofing into ashes and winds away Ren: off It...A cat without hairballs. he's only half a cat. Stimpy, I... picks up Stimpy Stimpy: sobs Got, to make, hairballs. pets Stimpy. Ren: There there, big fellow. Just lay back and to relax. Stimpy: But Ren, what about pectoral implants? Ren: IT HELPED! crying Bubba: When cat loses its hairball gland, it's, it's... it's over! Ren: excited IT'S OVER! Stimpy: excited Yeah! It's over! Stimpy and Bubba was dancing around during the music plays. When the music ends, they fades to black at the end of the episode. Category:Episode Transcripts